Relationships…..(Exhales) are so complicated these days. Is it just me or does the word “Love” gets thrown around like a basketball once you are in a relationship?

“LOVE” is any number of emotions related to sense of strong affection and attachment. The word “Love” can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes raging from generic pleasure (your Love for something) to interpersonal (your Love for someone).

Now my question is what does “Love” really feel like? Is it that sick feeling you get when you see that person or hear that person’s name that you “Love” so dearly? Or is it when your mind goes into overdrive thinking about this person every hour, minute, and second? Now we all have said to have been in “Love” a time or two but hot don’t we know it’s not just “Lust”?

Now you may be asking yourself “WTF is this thing called “LOVE” and how do I know I am in it?”.

Love” is supposed to be that feeling you enjoy having. “Love” makes you go above and beyond for that special someone. “Love” is that phone call just to say “I’m thinking about you.”. “Love” is flowers for no reason. “Love” is long walks holding hands. “Love” is missing you for no reason.”Love” is seeing that person smile. “Love” is more than just SEX and busting a nut. BELIEVE THAT!!!! “Love” is mind sex when you want to get into a person’s mental. “Love” makes you expect the unexpected. “Love” is unconditional.

Love” doesn’t hurt. “Love” doesn’t make you cry. “Love” will not use you. “Love” will not get mad at you. “Love” will not hit you. “Love” will not cheat on you. “Love” will not leave you. “Love” will not give up on you.

Now that I broke that down, let’s go back for a moment. What makes you tell a person that you “Love” them? Is there a right time to say it? Do we wait until the other party say it first? If we wait to say “I Love You” will we miss out on “Love” or chase them away?

I have noticed that some people are literally scared of the word “Love“. I dare you to try to bring up the word “Love” and see how your mate reacts. A lot of people are truly scared of the word “Love” and this is because they have had their hearts broken because someone misused their “Love

So be careful how you use the word “Love“. “Love” is supposed to be something special. It’s not just a word. It’s an action.

ALWAYS REMEMBER: “LOVE NEVER FAILS.”

PEACE AND BLESSINGS

Posted: July 1, 2010 in LOVE

There is no easy way to start this blog. I am going to just let my feelings take over.

We hear about Domestic Abuse cases almost everyday next to Gun Violence. But we never think that we will ever see it happen in front of our eyes.

I grew up in a home with my Grandmother, Grandfather, Mother, two sisters, and my nephew. My Grandfather was a Construction Worker and also a heavy drinker. Friday nights was his night to go out and hit his favorite neighborhood Bar. When we would see him get ready to go out, we would beg him to stay home because once that alcohol was in his system he was ready to fight and my Grandmother was his opponent. To watch my Grandmother have to fight his man almost twice a week was so heartbreaking. It was so bad that I wouldn’t want to be left alone with my grandfather because I saw how crazy he became when he would drink. I was young when I witnessed this. This went on until my Grandmother suffered a stroke in 1994. My Grandmother never recovered from the Stroke, she then passed away in 2000.

My oldest sister married a man ten times her age in 1996. What she saw in him who knows. My grandfather had just brought a home for us to move into. My sister and her husband decided to move in with us. He didn’t seem to care for our family and we didn’t care too much for him. From my understanding he was an avid drug user. Soon after he because to physically abuse my sister. This went on for sometime. They are still married this very day.

I was a Senior in High School and my friend introduced me to this guy. At first I didn’t care too much for him but I grew to like him. The more we were around each other the more possessive he became. He didn’t want me to hang with my friends or my family. He began to down talk me very badly. I then became a victim of Verbal Abuse. I was everything from ugly to don’t nobody want you but me. I had to check in with him when I made it home from school and etc. This went on for about one year. Without any of my friends around it was hard to deal with. When the relationship ended, I tried to take my own life because I felt like I was worthless at that point. But God stepped in and helped me build myself back up to the person he wanted me to be. That relationship ended in 2001.

My mom didn’t move with us when we moved to our new home. She would come over every week  to babysit my nephew while my sister was working. She had start dating a man from our old neighborhood who was an Alcoholic. They stayed together in our old house and from my understanding he had begun beating on her then. They both later moved in with us but that only mad situations worst. It seemed they would fight everyday. Their fights were like watching Boxing Matches. He would beat her so badly that she looked like she just stepped out of a boxing ring. The first time I witnessed then fighting was in 2000 on the 4th of July. We had just came from my sister’s house for our family BBQ. The both of them had been drinking heavily. They had entered the house arguing and the next thing I heard was my mom screaming “He’s trying to kill me!!!” . My Grandfather was sitting at the kitchen table and he told me don’t call the police let them fight. Every year the police is called to our home for a Domestic disturbance. He goes to jail and my mom let’s him back in like nothing happened. He is now in jail for Domestic Abuse.

As a woman who grew up and witnessed the women in my family get abused broke my heart and still breaks my heart. When will it stop? Is this normal? I thought a man is supposed to protect and provide for a woman. Not beat her. Any woman who thinks its ok to be in an abusive relationship needs some serious help. Any man who thinks its cool to hit a woman needs to check himself.

There are many different types of Abuse and they all can affect you in some way.

But when will it stop?

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW ARE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP PLEASE SEEK HELP!!!!!! IT’S NOT WORTH STAYING. NOTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE IF YOU STAY.

Peace and Blessings

A Beautiful Nightmare

Posted: June 26, 2010 in Uncategorized

Waiting for the day in which you and I are together

You tell me that I make you feel better despite of the weather.

You gently touch my face and stare deeply in my eyes.

You express how much you care for me

And none of those lies.

I tell you that you make me happy.

You make me smile.

Never cry.

Although at this moment a tear starts to form in my eye.

But don’t worry for these are happy tears,

Tears of how much I will appreciate all of the future years.

I reach out to pull you closer

But I am grabbing nothing but air.

I am reaching only to find out that you are my Beautiful Nightmare.

My Beautiful Nightmare,

As I lay my head down and close my eyes so tight

I pray and I pray that I will see you again tonight.

Peace and Blessings

THE UGLY TRUTH

Posted: June 24, 2010 in Uncategorized

So  does it really take a woman to turn a man into a dog? When a man is played does he show that he’s hurt by treating women like a….I don’t know what term to use, but you get the picture. But is this the way to show that they are hurt? As for women, we call men dogs, but we let the men that have been hurt by another woman actions come into our lives and allow them to treat use the way the woman had treated them. Why?

Why are we (both men and women) scared to let our guards down and see the possibilities?

Why do we play with the hearts of others just to get the same thing done to us?

We do this to hurt the person before they hurt us. Pretty damn stupid huh? I know. But we do this because we are scared. We are scared to love, like, be liked, and etc. We try to like people we know we have no physical, emotional, mental attraction to. We know our own strength of what a person will fall for. A woman will fall for anything a man throws at her as long as he is drop dead gorgeous. He will sell us big dreams and keep us on a string. But for what? Because he was on a string for so long by another woman. So we suffer. Women we are not trusted by some men because we are “evil”. We all are not evil. The evil ones got your money, cursed you out after you treated her like a princess and etc. Men are just as weak as women are.

Women are often called shallow because we have standards. We want everything to be perfect. We want the perfect man, but no man or woman is perfect. Men are weak. Men will put up a front and try to be a “man” and act as if they are never going to get hurt again. So they get many women. Label them. Know who’s who and who they can call when “they want to spend sometime together”. 9 times out of 10 one of the women will catch feelings. Now what? You men know how it goes. 99% of you have done this.

So the truth comes out. “I’ve been a good man and I get treated like ___.” “Why should I go out of my way to treat a woman like a woman when what I do is never enough?” “You women are never satisfied, but when I ask for something all you can give me is attitude.”

You are a BMB (Black Man Bruised) or BWS (Black Woman Scorned).

So my thing is, why pretend to make something to be something that it’s not? You know what it is, but the other person is left in the dark.

I am not saying every woman or man is evil or without a heart but why make someone else suffer for the wrong-doing of someone else’s action?

Men are capable to put up a fence and block people out. Women are capable of wearing our hearts on our sleeves and will go out of our way to please people. No is not in out vocabulary (sometimes it is).

But women will never understand men and men will continue to hurt the hearts of many women.

YOUR VISION

Posted: June 24, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

YOU SEE SOMETHING IN ME THAT THEY DIDN’T.

YOU SAW MY DRIVE AND AMBITION TO GET THINGS DONE.

YOU SAW MY COMPASSION FOR OTHERS.

YOU LOOKED HARD ENOUGH AND YOU SAW MY HEART AND SOUL.

THE LOOK THAT YOU GAVE ME, IT SCARED ME AT FIRST BUT I LIKED IT SO MUCH I HAVE IT ON REPEAT.

I REPLAY IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

(THANK GOD IT’S NOT A CD LOL)

OUR LONG TALKS AND THE LAUGHS WE SHARE.

OH TO HAVE THAT EVERYDAY .

 I KNOW GOD HEARS MY PRAYERS.

I PRAY FOR YOU EVERY-NIGHT.

I KNOW GOD PLACED YOU IN MY LIFE FOR A REASON .

AND THAT REASON IS FOR BOTH OF US TO BE HAPPY.

So it’s Summertime and it seems like a lot of Winter-made relationships are coming to a halt right now.  But let’s pretend for a moment it’s not the weather is the reason why you guys are on the verge of a Break-Up.

When you two met it was “Love At First Sight” (As we all think when we first meet the future devil). He was the sun that brightened your day and she lit up the night with her smile. You constantly remind her of how beautiful she is and how lucky you are to have her in your life. She sends you text messages thoughout the day just to let you know you were on her mind. This goes on for a few months and things start to change. The text messages go away, you are no longer beautiful, she starts to care less of how your day was or went. No dinner dates. No flowers. No nothing. But one half of the couple continues on with their daily routine. The other half just reaps all the benefits. Because Loves chose to stick its nasty head into the situation, you are now stuck between a rock and a hard place. You are no longer happy. You tell the other party about your feelings and they stick you with the “Be patient. Things will get better I promise.” Now because Love is your middle name, you want to see this happen. But the relationship starts to sound like a Political Campaign: A lot of broken promises. But what are you left to do? Unhappiness is outweighing Love. You heart starts to break into a thousand pieces because Love is putting you through Hell and Hot Water.

So why are you so scared to call it quits? I have learned when you put someone else feelings over your own feelings you will get your heartbroken. You have to focus on what makes you happy and make sure that your mate knows this also. If only one half of the party is happy and the other half is miserable, the relationship will not work. If the key components in a relationship are missing, the relationship will end before it starts.

The key components in a relationship are:

1. Honesty

2. Trust

3. Communication

4. Time

5. Patience and Understanding

6. Forgiveness

Relationships are just like a job. You take an application, do your research on the individual, interview them, they sell themselves to you, hire them because they seem like a great candidate, and you hope that they have what it takes to get the job done.

You also have to learn the person and vice versa. The likes and dislikes, what make them tick, what makes them laugh, and etc. But when that person starts to slack, it is your responsibility as an employer to notify the employee on their job performance. No changes? Well them we are back at square one: Looking for someone else who is more qualified for the position.

So what are you gonna do? Stay? Or Let Love Go?

Peace and Blessings

As I sit on my patio swing, I try to enjoy the sounds of summer in my neighborhood in Chicago. Kids playing, music being heard from cars, dogs barking and oh yeah the sounds of sirens every hour on the hour.Superintendent, claims that crime is down in chicago. I know. Shocking right? In April there was 40 people shot in 12 hours ALONE!!!! That was a cry for help. I am sure that death toll is at about 100 now.

My guess, an innocent individual shot due to the Iraq-like war going on here in the City of Chicago.

Within the last few months so many lives have been taken due to gun violence. There was a time when you turned on the news and you heard that an US Army Soldier or and Iraqi resident was gunned down. Not anymore. Chicago is rapidly becoming the Murder Capital of the United States. 

But aren’t the CPD the ones who are suppose to stop the “Bad Guys”? Jody Weis, CPD

My thoughts on this situation is a modern day gentrification. (Look up the word if you don’t know its meaning)

I think this is a way to eliminate the Africa American population in Chicago. Just as they did with the “Projects” this too is a “Project”.

There are police cameras in high crime areas. ARE THESE CAMERAS WORKING JODY WEIS?

I MEAN SO MANY PEOPLE PROBABLY GET SHOT IN FRONT OF THESE CAMERAS THAT THE POLICE CAN’T CATCH THE INDIVIDUAL WITH THESE GUNS?

AND WHY IN THE HELL ARE FIRE FIGHTERS RESPONDING TO SHOOTINGS?

Mayor Richard Daley has never responded to the gun violence because he is safe and have nothing to worry about. Maybe if he got his bid for the 2016 Olympics this city would be safe and sound.

As the days grow hotter and longer, more and more Chicagoans are going to be the victims of violence. African Americans are not going to be able to go outside and enjoy the Summer in Chicago. Curfews may be set to reduce the amount of violence in certain areas. The Army may have to step in to walk the tough streets of Chicago and gun down those who may be a threat to most.

SO I AM ASKING EVERY CITIZEN OF CHICAGO “WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE?”

WE CAN RUN FROM THE PROBLEM BUT THE PROBLEM WILL STILL BE AROUND.

SO I AM GOING TO COPY KANYE AND SAY “MAYOR DALEY AND JODY WEIS DON’T CARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE.”

YEAH I SAID IT AND I MEAN IT!!!!!

IT’S TIME FOR US TO STOP BITING OUR TONGUE AND KILL THE “STOP SNITCHING” MOVEMENT.

THE NEXT VICTIM OF GUN VIOLENCE CAN POSSIBLY BE A PERSON IN YOUR FAMILY.

THINK ON THAT.

PEACE AND BLESSINGS,

MIA