Domestic Violence: Who’s Hitting You?

Posted: June 30, 2010 in Uncategorized

There is no easy way to start this blog. I am going to just let my feelings take over.

We hear about Domestic Abuse cases almost everyday next to Gun Violence. But we never think that we will ever see it happen in front of our eyes.

I grew up in a home with my Grandmother, Grandfather, Mother, two sisters, and my nephew. My Grandfather was a Construction Worker and also a heavy drinker. Friday nights was his night to go out and hit his favorite neighborhood Bar. When we would see him get ready to go out, we would beg him to stay home because once that alcohol was in his system he was ready to fight and my Grandmother was his opponent. To watch my Grandmother have to fight his man almost twice a week was so heartbreaking. It was so bad that I wouldn’t want to be left alone with my grandfather because I saw how crazy he became when he would drink. I was young when I witnessed this. This went on until my Grandmother suffered a stroke in 1994. My Grandmother never recovered from the Stroke, she then passed away in 2000.

My oldest sister married a man ten times her age in 1996. What she saw in him who knows. My grandfather had just brought a home for us to move into. My sister and her husband decided to move in with us. He didn’t seem to care for our family and we didn’t care too much for him. From my understanding he was an avid drug user. Soon after he because to physically abuse my sister. This went on for sometime. They are still married this very day.

I was a Senior in High School and my friend introduced me to this guy. At first I didn’t care too much for him but I grew to like him. The more we were around each other the more possessive he became. He didn’t want me to hang with my friends or my family. He began to down talk me very badly. I then became a victim of Verbal Abuse. I was everything from ugly to don’t nobody want you but me. I had to check in with him when I made it home from school and etc. This went on for about one year. Without any of my friends around it was hard to deal with. When the relationship ended, I tried to take my own life because I felt like I was worthless at that point. But God stepped in and helped me build myself back up to the person he wanted me to be. That relationship ended in 2001.

My mom didn’t move with us when we moved to our new home. She would come over every week  to babysit my nephew while my sister was working. She had start dating a man from our old neighborhood who was an Alcoholic. They stayed together in our old house and from my understanding he had begun beating on her then. They both later moved in with us but that only mad situations worst. It seemed they would fight everyday. Their fights were like watching Boxing Matches. He would beat her so badly that she looked like she just stepped out of a boxing ring. The first time I witnessed then fighting was in 2000 on the 4th of July. We had just came from my sister’s house for our family BBQ. The both of them had been drinking heavily. They had entered the house arguing and the next thing I heard was my mom screaming “He’s trying to kill me!!!” . My Grandfather was sitting at the kitchen table and he told me don’t call the police let them fight. Every year the police is called to our home for a Domestic disturbance. He goes to jail and my mom let’s him back in like nothing happened. He is now in jail for Domestic Abuse.

As a woman who grew up and witnessed the women in my family get abused broke my heart and still breaks my heart. When will it stop? Is this normal? I thought a man is supposed to protect and provide for a woman. Not beat her. Any woman who thinks its ok to be in an abusive relationship needs some serious help. Any man who thinks its cool to hit a woman needs to check himself.

There are many different types of Abuse and they all can affect you in some way.

But when will it stop?


Peace and Blessings


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